What it is
A structured conversation about your children's future
Child arrangements mediation helps separated or separating parents agree how they'll care for their children going forward. Rather than leaving these decisions to a court, you and your former partner work through them together with an impartial mediator, focusing on what will genuinely work for your family.
It's suitable for parents at any stage of separation, whether arrangements are being agreed for the first time or an existing arrangement needs to change as circumstances or children's needs evolve. It's equally suited to married and unmarried parents.
What you can discuss
Whatever matters to your family
Every family is different. These are some examples of what parents often discuss, there may be others that matter more to yours.
Our approach
Child-focused, and always impartial
Guided by your children's best interests
The conversation stays focused on what will genuinely benefit your children, not on assigning blame or revisiting the past, aiming for a workable, lasting arrangement they can rely on.
An impartial facilitator, not a judge
Your mediator doesn't take sides, decide outcomes or give legal advice. They guide a fair, balanced conversation so you and your former partner reach your own agreement together.
A helpful framework
Thinking like the Welfare Checklist
Courts in England and Wales weigh up a set of factors known as the Welfare Checklist, from the Children Act 1989, when deciding what's best for a child. Your mediator doesn't apply the law during mediation, but the same plain, practical questions can help you and your former partner think things through together, such as:
What does your child want, and how much weight should that carry for their age?
What are their physical, emotional and educational needs?
How might any change affect them?
What are their age, background and characteristics?
Is there any risk of harm to consider?
How capable is each parent of meeting their needs?
This is a general guide for reflection during mediation, not legal advice. For guidance on how the law applies to your circumstances, please speak to a solicitor.
The outcome
A parenting plan that grows with your children
Together, you'll work towards a practical, written parenting plan covering the arrangements you've agreed. It's designed to be a living document, one you can revisit and adapt as your children grow and circumstances change, rather than a fixed rule set for every stage of childhood.
Good to know
Parental responsibility
A child's mother automatically has parental responsibility. A father usually has it if he's married to the mother, named on the birth certificate (for children registered after December 2003), or through a parental responsibility agreement or court order. Step-parents and others can also acquire it in certain circumstances.
Who can apply for a Child Arrangements Order
Parents can apply as of right. In some circumstances, others with a close connection to the child, such as grandparents, step-parents or those the child has lived with, may also be able to apply, sometimes with the court's permission first. Mediation is worth exploring before any court application.
How it works
Sessions built around you
Online or face-to-face
Joint sessions can be held by video call or in person, whichever feels more comfortable for you both.
Around two hours each
Sessions typically last around two hours, with the number of sessions depending on how much you need to discuss.
Together, at your pace
You and your former partner attend jointly, working through one topic at a time until you reach a plan you're both comfortable with.
Government support
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
Many parents are eligible for the government's Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, worth up to £500 towards the cost of mediating child arrangements. Your mediator can let you know whether you qualify and help with the application at your MIAM.
Frequently asked
Questions about child arrangements mediation
Yes, mediation is voluntary for both parents. Each of you will attend your own MIAM first, and joint sessions only go ahead if you're both willing to take part.
Sessions are usually between parents only. In some cases, and where appropriate, a child's own views can be brought into the conversation through direct consultation, which your mediator can discuss with you.
Not automatically. Most parents choose to keep it as an informal working agreement, but it can be converted into a legally binding consent order through a solicitor if you'd prefer.
Yes. As children grow, their needs change, and many parents return to mediation to review and update their parenting plan when that happens.
Ready to talk through arrangements for your children?
Book your MIAM and take the first step towards a calmer, child-focused way forward.
Book a MIAM